if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
