We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
