I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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