I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
