I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
