Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
