I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
