1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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