well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
