He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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