Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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