I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Someone came in the potted fern
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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