I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
