I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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