Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
