Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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