OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
True but thats because hes a fetus.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
