i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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