He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
