i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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