am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
