I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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