Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
false alarm, still single
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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