these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
