So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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