he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
