Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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