bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
