i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
