Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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