i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
