Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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