dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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