And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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