I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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