i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
