Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
