Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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