Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
