Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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