the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You ruined the universe
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
