Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
