I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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