Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
