I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
