haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
