I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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