you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
