operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize