I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
